and you know,
reading that filled me with so much pain.
pain from the knowledge of yours, and that i am not and cannot do or say anything to help you through it.
and i can only quietly hope that you always know that you've got a special place in my heart, and it hurts me when you feel hurt.

sorry for not seeing the signs when you talked to me on those occasions... i'm a selfish blockhead obsessed with schoolwork and deadlines... and yet, somehow i can never get anything done after the immense amount of time spent on it.

i should've known, but i did not see.