Watching the bird that never came close enough, the little mysterious bobbing things that made circular waves in the water,gazing at the sky, determining shapes that the cirrus clouds made, wondering why we took the subjects we did--or didn't, thinking about the future, and what each of us would do with a hundred million dollars, discussing the marvels of Atwood's writing, talking much too much, pooling the few coins we had, and the other odd discoveries i made yesterday...

thanks, lu. :)

I'm really grateful--for these two days alone (friday and saturday).
Since my exams ended on Thursday (I don't really want to talk about them--let's just say i'm trying to conveniently avoid the looming thought of watching my grade point average slip into the realms of hopeles threedom... but oh well i suppose i did my best in that moment.) i've been catching up with people i've very much wanted to for a very long time.

first there was supper with the twenty-twenty ones on thursday night, and i really got to know cedric, just a little bit better. talking to val and seb was also a newer experience, even though we had seen them on easter night as well.

Then there was luke on friday afternoon, after heading back to cj for a light lunch and some time catching up with jared, Mdm Damo, Ms Narindar--possibly tying up with her too!--, Cikgu, Mrs Sng, Mrs Koh--yay dance got Gold! :) would really like to see their item. Hmm who else? oh yes i was very pleased to see familiar faces back in school--Mr Fahy, for instance. Pity he never really knew me so I couldn't talk to him haha. and Ms Soong! I should've stopped her to talk to her. Good to see her though :) and of course Lao Shi--both Mdm Phang and Dr Goh :) and Mr Leong! said hello to Mr Lee, and a bunch of other teachers too... it's strangely always nice to go back to cj :) I even talked to the administrative lady yesterday.

also caught up with jerm on wednesday night when he came back. little supper and kueh over studying for ISP--the feeble scanning i did that i must admit didn't REALLY help me in the end--but by God's grace, might? i must say he looks better with his longer hair, and there's just a more appreciative air about him, although he's gotten markedly less hygienic (gosh it is possible!) and more persuasive. haha. school should be pretty interesting next term!

timbre with the bfc was another rare experience.
out came the bacardi, and before i knew it, everyone was high and it was 9pm.
i didn't know what to do but sip, watch and restrain. hahaha.
yup, in three words i guess i can summarise my activity that evening.
between rushing to the toilet and escorting people to the toilet and cleaning people up and keeping their phones and bargaining with the waiter to get one of them back, I suppose some good things did come out of that night.

for instance, some people had good talks with each other, and some meaningful things emerged for the first time.
some people were able to purge their sorrows--if only for that hour or two--and with drastic, sometimes slightly embarrassing consequences but still sort of, vaguely, possibly, worth it.
some topics of conversation came up that wouldn't have had the ones bringing them up not been in that state of mind.

I think that once in awhile, it's good to talk to a person who is high.
and once in awhile, it's good to be the sober one helping all your tipsy friends out.
cuz i suppose, you'll never know when it's your turn.

and eh, you promised ah, by august! It's recorded here! i don't care! hahaha.

one thing though.
ron's surprise to my sentiments about thinking long-term took me by surprise.
it's true, it sounds both scary and non-committal... but that's how most of these things are, you know?
they're fragile as a butterfly's wings, a thin piece of cotton wool. So the best we can do is to treasure its beauty now.
and if it breaks, tears or disintegrates later, you'll know the time has come and you'll be ready to let it go.
Not because you've planned for it to, but because you haven't told yourself it will be there forever.
and you'll be prepared to pick up the pieces of your heart, to move on, and if God wills it, you'll find someone new.
and that's how the cycle repeats itself, with each new person you find.

i guess you can never really be sure who you'll end up with, or who you should be with.
best any of us can do, i suppose, is to enjoy the moment and appreciate what we have.

and so today, i caught up with joshua. well after his surgery and time spent in the hospital, it's good to see him all right again! :)
also met up with bex and got introduced to wilson (: and he kindly gave us a lift to haoren's 21st celebration!

and certainly it's always great fun to catch up with those three haha. and sweet hilwa too :)

overdosing on sweet things though--e.g. chocolate, jelly beans etc. tsk, jeanette, when will you go swimming?

NONETHELESS, i must say i'm really making good use of this weekend--and hopefully next week too--that i have!
i just hope i'll be able to pick up indesign quick enough somehow--without badgering my friends too much (so sorry friends!) before my internship starts up on the 27th!

now i have time to grapple with new tasks and new issues. and new politics, and all the shit that you're giving everyone and that i'm just taking systematically.
why do i?
which i will tackle with gusto! i wonder when i should head into school to start burning. come to think of it, with my internship i won't have much time to either, darn.
ah, too lazy to bother with it now, heh.
but alas, don't dwell on that anymore. too much tears have been shed already anyway.

and so i wait.