so it's been an odd, kind of lonely christmas and new year.

caught up with zara on christmas eve, and that was good (:

christmas eve dinner was with eugene's extended family, and it was great getting to know his cousins and uncles and aunties... but it just served as a cruel reminder of the warmth that our family so severely lacked as he joined us for midnight mass.
after all, he went home, and so did i, and i returned home to an empty house, to usher in christmas alone.

christmas day was spent rushing to wrap and prepare presents halfheartedly, followed by a solitary trip to my grandmother's house. stoned around for awhile, played a bit of mahjong with my aunt and granny, had abit of time with my aunt when we slipped out to buy groceries. but eventually i was pretty much the only Tan left by the time we opened presents. and once again, when i was dropped off at home, surprise, surprise, i came back to an empty house.

although boxing day dinner at tim's was fun, especially the later part where rikesh cameron yannie kerrie and i went to Insomnia and yannie and i went crazy headbanging to the awesome live band :D

28th i was over at eugene's again, for rosary and neighbourhood mass. which also served to remind me of the zone 600 rosaries we used to have when we still stayed at 643 and were at OLSOTS. darn i miss the people there.
i wonder how it would feel to be involved in a neighbourhood community group in this church.

new year wasn't much different from christmas. it highly didn't help that i had to fall sick the night before new year's eve. like sickeningly sick. like ache all over my body and neck and back and arms and legs sick. and i only realised it was a fever the next morning at 7, after not being able to sleep for six hours. forced myself to get over the fever so i could meet joyce and jo for lunch, which was a relatively quiet affair too, although i was pretty glad to see them again =) i guess i always am. headed down to granny's again after that but i felt too blah to do anything or be my usual chirpy bubbly everywhere self.
and all this sickly behaviour led me to sleep at eleven fifty five, hence missing the midnight mark and countdown completely, and also my cousins (two of whom didn't even come back). so i pretty much ushered the new year in my sleep, feeling feverish, shitty and weak, alone in my cousin's room.
woke up at 4am to discover 7 smses wishing me happy new year four hours before, to realise that i had missed it. oh yay. what a way to reinforce loneliness.
and i spent this first of january 2008 lying around mostly alone, watching 4 movies at one shot (yes that's how alone i was), stopping only for toilet breaks or lunch and dinner. and since i watched one movie the night before, i've seen five in two days. nice eh?
haha i guess i've been wanting to do a movie marathon like this for awhile already la so i'm glad that i managed to do it before school starts next week again.

i guess i've been getting these instances of alone-time for a reason.
for a good reason.
and i must say even though it's kinda sad, i'm quite glad for it.
i think i won't get it again for a long time to come.

(okay, and i started this entry saying i didn't feel like writing much?)

i guess all that i have to say about 2007 is that it's passed way too fast.

the eight month holiday passed way too fast. i worked and spent the money i earned way too fast. i lost all the time i was supposed to spend studying way too fast. the semester passed way too fast. the exams came way too fast (or maybe i didn't start studying fast enough). i did too many things too fast (or faster than i would've liked to).

and this year has taught me so many things about emotions and feelings and people that i can't begin to fathom how much i've learned. it's scary how much my way of thinking about many things has changed as well--my ideals, my beliefs, my principles that i've held so firmly when i was not where i am now. what i was once so confident about that i'm not so sure about now.
and i think this year i have learned to let go.
so yes, a really quick year this has been. being a catechist has taught me many things as well, and this year has changed me in so many ways as a teacher and a learner.. i just hope that next year i'll be able to be a better teacher and friend to our teens. I also seriously hope i won't miss anymore readings next year... hawhaw.

but anyway i suspect my sister wants to use the internet cuz she switched on the desktop... better scoot and submit this first then.

so much for not feeling like writing.

right i'll be gone then.

goodbye, 2007, and hello 2008 (yes, the year that brendan turns five. :D ).